Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
