Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
