put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
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