sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
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