I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
