i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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