Do vagina's smell?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
