There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
