Heybabeimwearingurpanties
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Your penis caused this!
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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