We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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