Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I bet he comes in French.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
