We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
