Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
