I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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