I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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