they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
