Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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