I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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