I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
