I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Randomize
