the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
