Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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