Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
