In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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