I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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