So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
