I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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