Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
