Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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