LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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