found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
