I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
