She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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