i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
