Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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