You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
