No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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