Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
