just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
