oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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