um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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