Whod you bang
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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