Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
