I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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