TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
