he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
