I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
