just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
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