You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
