I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
